10 Ways to Build your Self-Confidence

10. Raise your Standards: One of the key elements to build or rebuilding our self confidence is by demanding it for ourselves. Raising our standards allows us to place a value on ourselves that is higher than before. It allows us to re-discover our own self-worth.

Standards Exercise: Make two lists, one for all the things you are currently accepting and the other for all the things you want to now accept.

9. Re-evaluate what serves you: By taking a step back, and looking at everyone and everything around you, we can determine what serves or no longer serves us. By asking ourselves questions along the lines of “Are these things serving me or are they taking too much of my energy?”  will allow ourselves to re-evaluating what we have chosen to accept in your life.

What serves you exercise: With two waste baskets, I want you to label each “What serves me” and “what doesn’t serve me” and tiny individual scrap paper I want you to write down all the thing you can think of that are in your life now (People, beliefs, jobs, experiences, stories, lessons, ideas etc). Look at the scrap paper and start tossing them in to the waste basket that is relevant to you and your new desires.

Once done, take the “what serves me” back and individually unwrap and ask yourself why this serves you.

8. Forgive: We must forgive not only ourselves, but the people that hurt us and also the people who have influenced us to believe, the past thoughts and beliefs that we are unworthy.

When we are able to forgive ourselves, we start to unconsciously promote self-love into our lives. We start to recognize that we are only human and we make mistakes too. Sometimes is easier to remain hard on ourselves and others than it is to forgive them, but they say that holding onto a grudge is like, drinking a poison expecting the other person to feel it.

When we go through past experiences it’s not because we are unworthy, but because we are learning a lesson that is so vital to understanding our true self.  It is only when we forgive ourselves and others that we can actually start to love who we are.

Forgiveness Exercise: 1) You can physically go to someone and ask for forgiveness of a past experience, or clear the air by telling someone you forgive them or 2) you can imagine yourself talking to the other person and communicating with them your needs in regards the situation and how it once made you feel or is making you feel. Give them time to digest and respond until they have effectively communicated their needs as well. Once you have effectively communicated, you can then make the choice from hearing both sides to forgive the person and the situation.

7. Letting Go: When we can let go of the experiences or things that no longer serve us, it allows us to bring more things into our lives that do. If we no longer want to attract people are situations that no longer represent who we are, we must let them go freely. By letting go of the past, we open the doors that have once remained closed. And by opening up doors we attract new opportunities, and ways to build our own inner self-worth and self-confidence.

Letting Go Exercise: If you have a thought that is preventing you from moving forward, then bring it to conscious awareness, and actively let it go, as if it were an object in your hands and your dropping it, telling yourself that you “no longer want this and you are letting it go.”

6. Self-Love: Loving ourselves is the utmost important step in building self-confidence. It is the key that unlocks all belief systems. That illuminates the path of love to everyone. When we love ourselves, everything we do, see, and feel is in sync to your desires.  Not only does the reflection in the mirror show us that, but our actions and the way we conduct ourselves does as well. It’s when we love ourselves fully and confidently that the world reflects that back to us.

Self-Love Exercise: Look in the mirror for 20 minutes for one week, and examine yourself all of your perfections and imperfections, and recognize the person you are staring at in the mirror. Tell yourself that “you exist” “you have a purpose” “you are a gift to the world” “you love yourself” “you are beautiful on the inside and out” and continue to say these positive affirmation to yourself until it no longer feels uncomfortable to you, and you start to accept you for you.

5. Self-Worth: When we feel worthy about ourselves, we know what we deserve. We won’t take anything less, or settle for something or someone that is beneath us. We accept people and situations that reflect who we are.

Self-Worth Exercise:  When faced with a situation, that is not congruent to what you believe in, acknowledge and address it immediately

that does not allow you to feel aligned with your highest self, acknowledge it and address the situation head on. When something is incongruent to our values in beliefs, we can deny our own beliefs and giving into someone else demands, or validates our own beliefs and standing up for what we believe in.

4. Respect: By respecting our own values and beliefs, we take an oath to be true to ourselves, even if other people don’t hold the same values as us. And by being true to ourselves, we will only attract people who are just as authentic as we are.  We respect our own values, and become open and understanding to others.

Self-Respect Exercise:

3. Do what makes you happy: A key to confidence is doing what makes you happy. It’s when we are authentically happy with who we are and what we are doing that other people will pick up on our energy, and want to be surround with us. Happiness is contagious, and happy confident people, want to be surround by other happy and confident people.

Happiness Exercise: Make of list of all the things that make you happy, and do at least one daily.

2. Communicating your needs: When we effectively communicate our needs to others, we are showing them what we want and how we are willing to be treated. It also allows the person to understand our needs, and express their needs equally, allowing open communication and understanding between the two.

Communication Exercise: Express your needs openly without having the fear of judgment.

1. Don’t compare yourself to others: When we compare ourselves to others, we hold ourselves to a standard that may sometimes be unrealistic to our own belief system, and generate negative self talk. But when we compare ourselves to the person we want to become, it allows us a realistic expectation that we are able to obtain. When we shift our belief system to the person we want to become in the future, it gives us the motivation and inspiration to become our highest form of self.

Future Self Exercise: Hold the image of future self you want to become, write down all of the qualities, feelings, experiences, employment opportunities, and physical attributes you want to have and start finding ways you can currently achieve these goals.

Bonus *Support system:  Having a support system is crucial in reminding ourselves and others, how beautifully important we truly are. It not only promotes self-confidence, but it allows us to be reminded of the qualities that we hold deep within us. Our support system lets us know when we are off track or on it and gives us a source of validation we need to continue to build our self-confidence.

Support System Exercise: Ask a friend, what are some of your amazing qualities are.





Alicia Ramos